Random Experiences

So last night as I walked Alicia out to her car and waved goodbye I was confronted with the feeling that someone, or something, was watching me. I turned to see a very large tan dog that appeared to be a mutt version of a Golden Retriever, only twice the normal width and obviously very worn down with age. I stopped in my tracks as he stared into my eyes with an intent that I could not translate. As I stood there he began to approach me and fearing he may be rabid I yelled SIT! He sat immediately at my feet and looked up at me as if I had been his lifelong master. Peering down I noticed a clean bright orange collar around his neck but upon further inspection noted that there were no identifying licenses or names. As I pat him on the head and back I felt a horrific stench waft into my nostrils causing me to immediately turn and cover my face as I gagged. I was all too surprised to find that the smell had transferred to my hands and, as my stomach did a flip, I turned to see the dog smiling up at me with an utter expression of pure love. I spoke to the dog asking him who he was and where he had come from, and almost consciously expected an audible human response. As quickly as he had approached, he turned and continued to meander away in the direction opposite from which he had come. I stood, concerned, baffled, wondering why he was out alone at midnight and why he had smelled so bad when he certainly had not missed any meals lately and was sure to have an owner close by. I walked upstairs still in a daze, partially due to the overwhelming wreak of my hands and partially because the whole meeting had seemed so surreal. I went straight to the bathroom and scrubbed as hard as I could to remove the touch of this dog on my skin. I awoke this morning and walked the neighborhood to see if I could find the dog or any signs of his occupation but I was left with no proof the incident had ever taken place. I worry about smelly dog. I worry he is cold, or lost, or worse of all neglected by his master. I will be keeping my eyes out for smelly dog... but I will be sure to have hand sanitizer close by, in anticipation of his return.

Wonderful Weekends

I love my weekends with Abbie. Not just for the fact that I get to spend time with the most wonderful little girl in the world but also for the fact that I get to spend time with a great family and group of loved ones. When Abs is around it's always a good excuse for everyone to get together and spend some well needed time with each other. This weekend was so beautiful and we all took full advantage. We all got together Saturday night and had dinner and talked and laughed and laughed. Sunday Rachel and I got to take her to a birthday party and then we spent the whole afternoon at the playground wearing ourselves out. These times are so priceless to me. I wish I could have everyday to spend with her and all those I hold close. The old saying is absence makes the heart grow fonder, and I find this so true. When Abs and I aren't together I long just to see her precious little face, or hear her crazy off the wall justifications of why she should be able to stay up and watch TV with Alicia and I. She really is a trip. I wouldn't change anything in the world though. I am so blessed with everything. Rachel is so willing to let me spend any second I can with her and I can never thank her enough for that. Heck, I never do thank her enough for that, Thank You Rachel. And thank all of you for the time we share, the silly conversations we have, and the love we all have for each other. You all truly make my world go around.

You are no better than anyone

A friend told me a story this morning through a series of comments. He was frustrated because he had the feeling that one of our co-workers thought he was better than himself. He told me that his father always used to tell him "no matter how smart you think you are, there is always someone who knows more than you do, and there is always someone who knows something that you don't". This is so true. It may be easy for someone to pass judgment on that bum lying in the gutter, but I guarantee that man knows much more than any of us ever will about how to survive, and stretch thirty five cents over an entire day. Or the single mother who had a child out of wedlock, I bet she is more organized and able to multitask better than most of the CEOs in America. It is easy for any of us to pass judgment, but let us remember that there is but One who can pass judgment, Our Father.

Trust

So... so. God has been speaking to me very loudly lately and I have decided he knows better than I do. I have been living my life with him by my side but still using that ability of free will he gave me. I need to accept that he knows better than I do and I have submitted. It is causing me pain, those of you who know know, but I am taking this as his path and I am following. I have been blessed by having some very special people around me and this will help. This will heal. I know that there are some very bright points on the horizon ahead and to get to them I must take one step at a time. The journey may not always be the easiest, smoothest path but at the end He knows where I should be. And I am trusting that.